I am aware how morbid the title can come across, but it is ultimately the main idea of what I’d like to communicate. Do you remember when God told Adam and Eve that if they ate of the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil that they would die? Turns out God did not mean they would immediately fall over dead but instead be locked onto a destructive path that would inevitably lead them to death.
The Bible has a lot to say about communication. It instructs us to speak life and to be mindful of the things that we say. Proverbs 18:21, says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” We have superpower as fathers, our words. They are strong, eternal, and influential. However, we can use them one of two ways. We can choose to speak words of life or words of death; we can build up or destroy.
Think of your words like a knife. You can sharpen the blade and use it for tons of practical reasons. You might use it when you are hunting, or like my dad, you use it for all of those miscellaneous moments when a knife comes in handy. On the flip side, that same knife that can helpful can also be dangerous. You could use that same knife to be destructive or even take a life. Your words possess that same ability.
When you speak kindly to your kids, you are leaving an eternal impression. Make sure your kids hear you say you are proud of them, your sons especially. Make sure you annoy them by how much you tell them that you love them. Speak to them with respect and like you really value them. By doing this you are helping them establish worth for themselves. You are placing them on a path that leads to life.
Sadly, the opposite is just as true. Neglecting to express pride or love in your child creates a void that causes them to question their own meaning and worth. Constantly yelling at your kids and degrading them because they act like the kids they are, instead of the adult that you still secretly and personally strive to be. If they do not take their own life, they will live life on a destructive path that ends at death.
In the moment, we fail to realize how powerful our words are. Personally, while I aim to be better every day, I will confess that my communication is not perfect. I catch myself speaking from my frustration and raising my voice at unnecessary times. I feel more away of that right now because I do not currently have my voice. I have a severe case of strep and my tonsils are so swollen that I can only make noises. Of course, my wife has taken opportunities to make fun of me and mock my failed attempts at speaking like a human, and it only makes me love her more. My point is, while I am not able to currently communicate with my words, it has made me reflect on what I would want to communicate. Yes, there are chaotic times and kids get loud. Do I want to match their chaotic loudness, or do I want to speak life and order to bring about peace? I want to take those extra 30 seconds to do what’s right instead of reacting because I think I am in such a rush. Not having a voice does not make me miss speaking destructively, it makes me miss speaking life.
All of us were told the old adage, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” There is truth to that. Our kids need to know that plenty of things will be spoken to them in life that they need to pay no attention to. However, our kids will never think that words should be ignored. You have a creative, life-giving power, how will you use it?