As men we have a natural proclivity to things rather than people. We use fewer words on average than women. We like our space. There is also this idea of independence that we attach to masculinity, that we can do it on our own and we do not need help. What a dumb idea. Strength and power are great things to have. It feels nice being valued and feeling like we are at the top. The problem is if we are doing everything alone, we aren’t even close to the top or being as valuable as we can be.
When God made man there was an immediate desire to have a companion. The animals were not sufficient, so God made woman. From this relationship came the community of the family. As families grew and expanded, the community of tribes developed. This continued to grow into nations and empires. There are communities of differing sizes that individuals identified with. In the New Testament, we see Jesus being in community with His disciples. If anyone was going to be successful doing life alone and isolated, it would’ve been Jesus. The fact that He chose to be in community ought to be a wakeup call for us. We should take the Biblical advice of being in community; being the body of Christ.
Consider the concept of synergy, that demonstrates how the ability of two or more forces is greater than the sum of their individual abilities. For example, if two horses are capable of pulling 6,000 pounds each, together they do not pull 12,000 pounds, they pull closer to 18,000 pounds. If we want to achieve more in life and accomplish greater things, we need to be in community. I am reminded of Genesis 11 and the Tower of Babel. The people were fearful of being destroyed again so they committed to building a tower together that would reach to the heavens. The Bible records that nothing would have been impossible for them to achieve because of their unity. Our capacity is amplified when we join forces with others. We truly are better together.
The University of Chicago has released research on the topic of loneliness and isolation, and they’ve likened the effects of such to that of smoking and hypertension. By isolating ourselves, we bring about psychological, emotional, and physical harm to ourselves. There is also a Biblical illustration of this in 1 Kings with Elijah. Keep in mind that the prophet is accompanied by his servant. They spend time with the widow where there is the miracle of food supplies lasting far longer than it should’ve. Later, Elijah is preparing to present himself to King Ahab and he runs into Obadiah, a man rescuing prophets from the terror of Jezebel. After talking with Ahab, Elijah makes a spectacle of all the prophets of Baal on Mount Carmel. Following this Elijah gets word that Jezebel has set her sights on him. Elijah goes to Beersheba, leaves his servant there, and continues, alone, into the wilderness. It is when Elijah isolated himself that he began to ask God to take his life. Loneliness settled in and the great prophet became discouraged and lost value in his own life. When we break away from others and neglect the value of community, we step into dangerous territory where we become susceptible to physical and mental harm, including a loss in personal value.
We need community. We need one another. Make sure you have friends in your life that are on a similar path who you can travel this journey of fatherhood with. They will build you up and present you with opportunities to build them up. You will grow together, and you will achieve greater things with others than you would have ever accomplished alone. Remember the concept of synergy, remember the capacity of unity from Genesis 11, and keep in mind the implications of isolation. Functioning the way God designed us to live is the only way that leads to true success in life. Cling to your family and cling to your friends. Stay in community and thrive.