The way we perceive things directly impacts our expectations and experiences. If you walk into a room of people, all of whom you think are despicable, you’re not going to make any friends. Due to your perception, you’re going to avoid those people, find solitude somewhere, and gain extra practice using your fake smile. The outcome of that experience was already predetermined by your perception.
Perspective is powerful and influential. Because of that, we must be increasingly mindful of our perspective and where our focus lies. As men, husbands, and fathers it can be easy to allow the hustle of the moment to shape our perspective. When you and your wife are having a disagreement, while the kids are bickering and screaming, and you have something you feel you need to do, you’ve already determined the experience you will have if you allow those elements to shape your perspective. If that causes you to think my wife is stubborn, my kids don’t respect me, and no one cares about what I’m trying to do, you’ll function as a standoffish, frustrated person for the next few days.
We cannot allow our perspective to be molded by the present circumstances of life. You will have disagreements with your spouse, that does not mean she is against you. Your children will act like kids, that doesn’t mean they don’t respect you. A perspective crafted by the chaos of the moment leads us to selfishness and selfishness has no place in a husband or a father.
In Psalm 73, Asaph openly talks about his perspective and the immediate results that followed. He found himself, a man faithful to God, surrounded by wicked men living lavish and prosperous lives. That did not fit with his understanding. The belief was that in order to have good things such as prosperity, one must do good things. Yet Asaph sees wicked men experiencing those things he felt he should be experiencing. He says that he nearly slipped. He came close to allowing the present reality to refine his perspective but fortunately he made his way to the house of the Lord. There he was reminded of their end. There he refocused his perspective on the big picture.
We must ensure that our perspective is always fastened to the big picture. The big picture is that your wife made a commitment to love you until death. Whenever there is a disagreement, that’s not a denouncement of a vow, it’s just a temporary disagreement. Your kids will grow up to have lives and families of their own, but they will be thrilled to share them with you. We can’t allow a 9 year old to make us think otherwise. See the big picture. It’s beautiful and brushed with faithfulness, love, hope, respect, perseverance, and fulfillment. Do not let small, temporary instances of the present distract you and keep you from that.